Last night during my Practice I came across a pattern, it came through as a sentence and it said simply – “I don’t want to know”. This same pattern has been emerging for the last couple of months now, and I’ve tried many things to understand and shift it. For some reason last night however, when it came up again, I was feeling very relaxed and kind, and in response I simply said, “you don’t have to know”, and put my focus instead on feeling how the pattern felt, letting it feel that way and letting it keep me safe, until the pattern itself felt safe. My state went quite deep and there was no pushing to get answers, after a while, the thought emerged, “I know now” and I could see the guilt, shame and loneliness this pattern was protecting me from. I feel so much love for myself and at the same time, I don’t feel in a hurry to ‘fix’ or ‘solve’ these feelings, it just feels good to feel. I share this, because it is a good example of ‘charming our patterns’. Patterns sit at the level of the heart, as well as the consciousness, and in this place manifest as strong emotions, you could say Trama. Like you would when helping a friend, or a young child, trying to override these feelings just does not work, it takes skill, love, compassion and wisdom to allow ourselves to feel safe again. Sharing this remind me of something else I wrote a while back, after some very beautiful experiences whilst on retreat…….. As the young man approached the heart, slowly getting closer with each step inwards (for that is the direction one must go to get to the heart), he came across a guard. 

‘You cannot enter the heart’ spoke the guard.  ‘Please let me in, I am cold, tired and lonely’ said the man. ‘I must keep us safe’ said the guard, ‘it is my job’ The young man cried, and he turned to walk away, but as he looked out, away from his heart, he saw that in fact, there was nowhere else to go. So instead he turned back, to look at, to face the guard. ‘I have a key’ said the man, ‘I have been gone a long time, on what I thought was an important journey. You have done a beautiful job, keeping the heart safe, but it is time for us to go back inside and rest a while by the fire’. The guard looked at him and smiled, the warmth of the heart behind him shining right through him and he placed down his weapons. And so the young man and the guard, (who was actually all of his fears, patterns, defensiveness, worries, sadness, fear of loss and gain etc) entered the heart. And they drank tea and sat in a warm cosy room by the fire. The end. (Or perhaps a new beginning❤️） I hope this has inspired you to continue inwards on this important journey, please feel welcome to reach out if you ever need support – I offer group classes and private sessions over Zoom, check out my home page for details. Have a great day. Jay